“We’re not going to tell Miranda, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t need to be sheltered,” I say. “And I do try new things. I was a super-shy, scared kid, andMiranda still sees me that way sometimes, but that’s not who I am anymore. It was my idea to audition for this show in the first place, not hers. She didn’t even want to do it.”
“I think it’s a brilliant revenge strategy,” Piercings chimes in. “Kudos to you for coming up with it. Why was she against it?”
“Miranda doesn’t understand reality TV,” I say. “I mean, she gets that it’s entertaining, but she doesn’t understand why it’s actually important. When I talk about how I want to be a field producer or a story editor someday, she tries to be supportive, but I can tell she doesn’t see what I see in it. To her, it’s all just fluff.”
“Tell us what you see, Claire,” Charlotte prompts.
For most people, this wouldn’t be a personal question—they like reality television because it’s funny and takes their minds off their lives, like I told those stoners at the graduation party. But for me, it has always been more than that. This is something I’ve only ever discussed with Natalie, and I’m not sure I want to spill my guts to six strangers and a camera. But I guess this is what I signed up for when I agreed to audition.
“Reality TV is a great equalizer,” I tell those six eager faces. “Pretty much everywhere else, in entertainment and in real life, the beautiful, charismatic people like my sister get special privileges. They don’t have to try, and things just happen for them. But on reality shows, you have the same chance of succeeding even if you’re awkward and average-looking, like me. As long as you’re smart and creative and you have an interesting story to tell, nobody really cares if you suck at smalltalk or if you’re wearing the wrong jeans, you know? Like, have you guys ever seen that show GuilloTeen ?”
“Once or twice,” Charlotte says. She looks really interested in everything I’m saying.
“There was this guy last season—Ray, I think? He was like a hundred pounds overweight, and he had this awful mullet, and he talked about comics constantly. If he went to my school, he’d be a total laughingstock. But he outsmarted everyone, and he won. And when they interviewed him afterward, he started crying, and he talked about how nobody had ever taken him seriously before because he wasn’t suave and thin and hot. But the producers of that show gave him a chance when nobody else would. And now people all over the country know how awesome he is, and they know that people like him can be awesome. That’s what reality TV is about for me.”
“Wow,” Santa says. He’s nodding slowly, like I’ve given him a lot to think about. Oprah is scribbling notes in her pad, and Piercings looks like he’s about two seconds from starting a slow clap. For the first time, I’m relieved that my sister’s not in the room. I would never have been able to get all that out with her looking at me, not to mention talking over me.
“Those are very astute observations, Claire,” Charlotte says. “You’ll make a great producer someday. Thank you for sharing that with us. Now, let’s switch topics for a few minutes. What can you tell us about your dating life?”
At first I think I must have heard her wrong. “I’m sorry, my … what?”
“Your love life,” Sunburn says. “Do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend?”
What does this have to do with racing around the world? Are they asking because of the Samir situation? “No,” I say. “I like guys, but I don’t have a boyfriend. Is that a problem?”
Sunburn laughs. “Of course not. Tell us about your last boyfriend. How long were you together?”
And just when I thought I had my feet under me, I’m totally out of control again. The casting team looked so impressed with me a minute ago, and I don’t
I take a deep breath. “I don’t need to be sheltered,” I say. “And I do try new things. I was a super-shy, scared kid, andMiranda still sees me that way sometimes, but that’s not who I am anymore. It was my idea to audition for this show in the first place, not hers. She didn’t even want to do it.”
“I think it’s a brilliant revenge strategy,” Piercings chimes in. “Kudos to you for coming up with it. Why was she against it?”
“Miranda doesn’t understand reality TV,” I say. “I mean, she gets that it’s entertaining, but she doesn’t understand why it’s actually important. When I talk about how I want to be a field producer or a story editor someday, she tries to be supportive, but I can tell she doesn’t see what I see in it. To her, it’s all just fluff.”
“Tell us what you see, Claire,” Charlotte prompts.
For most people, this wouldn’t be a personal question—they like reality television because it’s funny and takes their minds off their lives, like I told those stoners at the graduation party. But for me, it has always been more than that. This is something I’ve only ever discussed with Natalie, and I’m not sure I want to spill my guts to six strangers and a camera. But I guess this is what I signed up for when I agreed to audition.
“Reality TV is a great equalizer,” I tell those six eager faces. “Pretty much everywhere else, in entertainment and in real life, the beautiful, charismatic people like my sister get special privileges. They don’t have to try, and things just happen for them. But on reality shows, you have the same chance of succeeding even if you’re awkward and average-looking, like me. As long as you’re smart and creative and you have an interesting story to tell, nobody really cares if you suck at smalltalk or if you’re wearing the wrong jeans, you know? Like, have you guys ever seen that show GuilloTeen ?”
“Once or twice,” Charlotte says. She looks really interested in everything I’m saying.
“There was this guy last season—Ray, I think? He was like a hundred pounds overweight, and he had this awful mullet, and he talked about comics constantly. If he went to my school, he’d be a total laughingstock. But he outsmarted everyone, and he won. And when they interviewed him afterward, he started crying, and he talked about how nobody had ever taken him seriously before because he wasn’t suave and thin and hot. But the producers of that show gave him a chance when nobody else would. And now people all over the country know how awesome he is, and they know that people like him can be awesome. That’s what reality TV is about for me.”
“Wow,” Santa says. He’s nodding slowly, like I’ve given him a lot to think about. Oprah is scribbling notes in her pad, and Piercings looks like he’s about two seconds from starting a slow clap. For the first time, I’m relieved that my sister’s not in the room. I would never have been able to get all that out with her looking at me, not to mention talking over me.
“Those are very astute observations, Claire,” Charlotte says. “You’ll make a great producer someday. Thank you for sharing that with us. Now, let’s switch topics for a few minutes. What can you tell us about your dating life?”
At first I think I must have heard her wrong. “I’m sorry, my … what?”
“Your love life,” Sunburn says. “Do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend?”
What does this have to do with racing around the world? Are they asking because of the Samir situation? “No,” I say. “I like guys, but I don’t have a boyfriend. Is that a problem?”
Sunburn laughs. “Of course not. Tell us about your last boyfriend. How long were you together?”
And just when I thought I had my feet under me, I’m totally out of control again. The casting team looked so impressed with me a minute ago, and I don’t
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