Confessions of a Backup Dancer

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Authors: Tucker Shaw
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    Why We Care: I need all the help I can get. and I gotta say, he’s pretty hot. in fact, he’s maybe the best eye candy around.
    Other: he actually said something nice to me. Unlike anyone else on the tour. He thinks i’m good. he said I’ve got “it.” we were talking about dancing and I told him about what it’s like when I dance and I go THERE and he knew exactly what I was talking about. Although now I have to wonder whether or not he’s just saying that cause I’m paying him. sigh. whoever said backup dancers live large obviously never got a backup dancer paycheck. I guess it’s a good thing I’ve already had about 350 years of dance training … I speak that language, so I’m a quick study. that should cut down on my Rashid bill.
    Names: D-Run, Armand, Bart, Li’l D, Jesus, Angeline, the two Tinas, and Waverly.
    Ages: 20-30 or so or something
    General Info: they’re the other backup dancers. they’re pretty tight. they’re not going out of their way to hang with me or whatever, but they’re being pretty patient with me while I play catch-up. I can tell they’re watching me tho. trying to figure me out. not that there’s anything to figure. I think they’re weirded out by the fact that i’m 17. Armand and Jesus are crazy gossips. I think all the guys are gay except for Li’l D, who I think has something going on with one of the Tinas. She sat in his lap all through lunch today, and let’s just say that after she got off and Li’l D stood up and readjusted his sweatpants, it was pretty clear that there’s nothing Li’l about Li’l D.
    Signs: i’11 keep you posted.
    Hair: around 30-35% real.
    Personal Styles: from fringe to frayed jeans to sweats to whatever. Everyone’s attached to their iPods. they all have tour jackets like “Nelly 2000” and “Christina: Stripped” and stuff. No one has a Pashmina jacket. I bet Darla banned them.
    Body Types: tight, and obsessed with it. these people are constantly stretching, posing, workin’ it. I overheard Angeline and Waverly talking about their pilates class and how much it strengthened their core and how much it helped their posture and all that. I should try it cause my posture sucks.
    Why We Care: duh they’re my backup dancers. ha ha ha!! just kidding. I need to kiss their asses big time. If they don’t like me, they could drop me onstage. talk about massive humiliation. Others: it’s a tough clique to break into. but i’m just tryin’ to stay cool. they’re really good to, uh, eavesdrop on. yesterday they were talking about how Christina Aguilera supposedly has like over 10 piercings. I was like WOW. picture THAT. I mean, WHERE do you put 10 piercings? yikes.
    Name: Jesse Nixon
    Age: 19
    General Info: finally, a superhot VJ. they really got it right this time … he’s totally cute and totally knows about music. or at least, he’s totally good at reading cue cards. anyway I have the kind of crush on him that makes mefeel all giddy like a 9-year-old. Swoon.
    Sign: isn’t he a leo?
    Hair: getting pouffier by the moment. this is a clear and present problem
    Personal Style: you know as well as I do
    Body Type: little did I know what secrets he held until last year’s Spring Fever where he was broadcasting from a swimming pool and he lifted his shirt up. can you spell abs?
    Why We Care: I haven’t laid eyes on him in person yet but everyone around here talks about him all the time. Especially Darla. I don’t know if he’s even in LA but it’s like every time I turn around people are talking about him like he just left the room. and darcy is constantly talking about him—like what he was wearing on tv or what he said in some online chat or asking if he’s called. Maybe they’re dating, and maybe they’re just friends. I really can’t tell. Like I said, I

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