darcyâs mom and manager and all that. Sheâs always there. But sheâs not that hip, not like Britneyâs mom, who seems kind of cool. Darlaâs more like a beauty-pageant mom. Sign: I bet sheâs a scorpio, huh? Hair: helmet head. think Sally Field in Steel Magnolias. dark hair with tons of products in it, mostly aerosol based. I think she might have had an eye jobbecause it just seems all too tight around there. Personal Style: pants suits with cardigans tied across her shoulders. like how oprah does sometimes. always smells like peaches. (or is it mangoes?) Body Type: sort of like Susan Lucci. big on top with teeny little legs. spends most of her time sitting down or pacing. (and lately talking a lot about how untalented she thinks Pashmina is. ha ha.) Why We Care: something tells me that sheâs the one whoâs really in charge around here. and if sheâs NOT, if Iâve got that wrong, then she definitely WANTS to be in charge. she seems to be everywhere, all the time, and she seems to know everyone and everything. she makes me totally nervous. everyone kisses up to her all the time. I always suck in my gut around her because I think she thinks Iâm fat. actually I know she thinks Iâm fat. she practically said so when she offered everyone else a coke the other day then handed me a diet coke. she has this really ugly little dog that looks like a rat with bows in its ears and stuff. it slobbers all over and sounds like itâs heaving. she carries it in her purse and talks baby talkto it and acts like she doesnât notice when it takes a crap on the floor. itâs called PUNKIN. not âpumpkinâ but PUNKIN. Hey, could I make this up? Other: she acts like itâs my fault that I came late to the tour. sometimes she gives me this LOOK that makes me feel like apologizing for being BORN! itâs the kind of look that makes you wish you could vanish into thin air like in a star trek movie or whatever. but then she usually says something like, âthanks for all your effortâ or something totally vice principally like that. know what I mean? so youâre never exactly quite sure what she means because she never seems to mean what she says. bizad vizibes. I donât know. Iâm just gonna stay away from her as much as I can. Name: Eileen Wang Age: 32, but thinks sheâs old. I heard her ordering some anti-aging products over the phone. General Info: darcyâs tour manager. she seems constantly in the middle of a crisis. and she talks wicked wicked wicked superfast. sheâs from san Francisco and speaks in mandarin on the phone to her parents. Sign: Cancer. she has a crab tattoo on her ankle. Hair: spiky, pink tips. big square glasses. Personal Style: I think sheâs been wearing the same jeans since I met her. Body Type: boyish. in fact, she turns me on. ha ha ha just kidding. Why We Care: she DISCOVERED me!! ha ha. :-) and to be honest, I kind of like her. she seems like a regular person, like me. Other: she spends 99% of her time on the cell phone, usually whispering or panicking. Sheâs always saying stuff like âSHEâS coming!â or âwhat will SHE think?â SHE, meaning darla, and she (Eileen) seems really scared of her (Darla). Name: Rashid Age : 25 General Info: heâs the director of the show and heâs choreographing the whole thing. heâs really focused. and really smart. and heâs the only person who ever says anything back to darla. yesterday he disagreed with her about a sequence and he even got his way. she gave him the LOOK and he rolled his eyes. it was too good. Sign: Sagittarius. Hair: braids. halfway down his back. Personal Style: ALWAYS in sunglasses. ALWAYS. (does that mean heâs stoned all the time too?) Body Type: tall, lean, looks incredibly strong, must be a classic ballet dancer or something. posture that almost looks like heâs kidding. gorgeous dark