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Authors: Ashleigh Giannoccaro
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name just Little One . Now I feel sick and my appetite hasgone. “Don’t ever call me that ever.” I seethe not even able to say the words myself. Those words cause only two reactions in me, neither of them good. They make me want to vomit or panic which I would rather not do in front of Rowan. He is reading my face and my vicious response.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wipe that beautiful smile off your face it just seemed that you found something amusing that’s all.” I immediately revert to what will happen now that I lashed out mode waiting for the pain should follow. He looks confused by my violent reaction to his words.
“It was funny, I’m sorry. Renzo called me that and it was in no way a term of endearment. Please just don’t.” I say now a bit remorseful that I snapped at him he was trying to be nice. There was no punishment for my boldness and my conditioned brain is having a hard time with that.
“Tell me what he did to you.” It’s not a question this time more of a demand. I won’t tell him I can’t tell him. I feel the bitterness burning again. I want to fight with Rowan, I have no idea why my, I know better than to fight. I cannot hold my words and my anger back as I answer him.
“He broke me Rowan. I won’t tell you how or why or anything else I am broken. I will stay here forever but I won’t tell you any more. In fact I like it here, it’s home. Just with locks on it.” I’m pushing where I know I shouldn’t. His expression changes immediately. He doesn’t like my answer. The anger I see boiling behind his cool blue eyes tells me I will be sorry for it too. I shouldn’t fight, I know better than that. I see both Rowans there now. The monster and the nice guy and they are fighting with each other. I irritate him on some level as he seems annoyed.
He hands me a plate with some Chinese takeout on it and spits his words at me “Go eat in your room, I just lost my appetite for your company Ellia.” There it is. The punishment, lash out and you’ll be punished. I’m somewhat shocked at his words and the anger with which he speaks them. To be honest, I’m scared of him in that moment and I want to go back to my room fast. God knows why but I fight back again. I have opened a tap that I cannot close. I am an idiot. “Make me go back to my room Rowan, go on, I am after all your prisoner. Your dead prisoner.” I sneer at him and before I have even taken my next breath he has hauled me over his shoulder with one arm and carries my dinner in the other hand. I have a fine view of his ass and can smell his shower gel or after shave or whatever it as he stomps me back to my room throwing me down on my bed. I don’t fight him, I won’t. I just go limp at the physical contact. He puts the food down on the small coffee table and turns to me now the anger radiating off him. Shit I’m a fool. The years with Renzo taught me that it’s foolish to fight and you certainly don’t push or be petulant like I just was, you will just get hurt.
“Don’t push me Ellia; it won’t end well for you. I am not the one you need to be angry at.” He scolds me like a naughty child. I feel the anger bubbling in me and I want to fight I want to push I almost need to do it. But I don’t.
“Your door is open, when you are ready to tell me the truth you can come out, if you choose to act like a child I will lock you in here like a child Ellia, are we clear?” He speaks calmly to me though I can see the burn in his eyes too. He wants to lash out at me but he doesn’t want to hurt me. He knows it was his job to protect me so he can’t.
I just glare at him like a scorned teenager; I can’t seem to control my reactions anymore being free has made me lose my mind. He leaves my room but doesn’t close the door this time. He has me acting like a child. My brain tells me otherwise but he just seems to bring it out of me.
I get up and sit on the sofa that faces the window and stare into the blackness
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wipe that beautiful smile off your face it just seemed that you found something amusing that’s all.” I immediately revert to what will happen now that I lashed out mode waiting for the pain should follow. He looks confused by my violent reaction to his words.
“It was funny, I’m sorry. Renzo called me that and it was in no way a term of endearment. Please just don’t.” I say now a bit remorseful that I snapped at him he was trying to be nice. There was no punishment for my boldness and my conditioned brain is having a hard time with that.
“Tell me what he did to you.” It’s not a question this time more of a demand. I won’t tell him I can’t tell him. I feel the bitterness burning again. I want to fight with Rowan, I have no idea why my, I know better than to fight. I cannot hold my words and my anger back as I answer him.
“He broke me Rowan. I won’t tell you how or why or anything else I am broken. I will stay here forever but I won’t tell you any more. In fact I like it here, it’s home. Just with locks on it.” I’m pushing where I know I shouldn’t. His expression changes immediately. He doesn’t like my answer. The anger I see boiling behind his cool blue eyes tells me I will be sorry for it too. I shouldn’t fight, I know better than that. I see both Rowans there now. The monster and the nice guy and they are fighting with each other. I irritate him on some level as he seems annoyed.
He hands me a plate with some Chinese takeout on it and spits his words at me “Go eat in your room, I just lost my appetite for your company Ellia.” There it is. The punishment, lash out and you’ll be punished. I’m somewhat shocked at his words and the anger with which he speaks them. To be honest, I’m scared of him in that moment and I want to go back to my room fast. God knows why but I fight back again. I have opened a tap that I cannot close. I am an idiot. “Make me go back to my room Rowan, go on, I am after all your prisoner. Your dead prisoner.” I sneer at him and before I have even taken my next breath he has hauled me over his shoulder with one arm and carries my dinner in the other hand. I have a fine view of his ass and can smell his shower gel or after shave or whatever it as he stomps me back to my room throwing me down on my bed. I don’t fight him, I won’t. I just go limp at the physical contact. He puts the food down on the small coffee table and turns to me now the anger radiating off him. Shit I’m a fool. The years with Renzo taught me that it’s foolish to fight and you certainly don’t push or be petulant like I just was, you will just get hurt.
“Don’t push me Ellia; it won’t end well for you. I am not the one you need to be angry at.” He scolds me like a naughty child. I feel the anger bubbling in me and I want to fight I want to push I almost need to do it. But I don’t.
“Your door is open, when you are ready to tell me the truth you can come out, if you choose to act like a child I will lock you in here like a child Ellia, are we clear?” He speaks calmly to me though I can see the burn in his eyes too. He wants to lash out at me but he doesn’t want to hurt me. He knows it was his job to protect me so he can’t.
I just glare at him like a scorned teenager; I can’t seem to control my reactions anymore being free has made me lose my mind. He leaves my room but doesn’t close the door this time. He has me acting like a child. My brain tells me otherwise but he just seems to bring it out of me.
I get up and sit on the sofa that faces the window and stare into the blackness
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