Read Online Breaking the Fall by Michael Cadnum - Free Book Online Page B

He thought for a while. “That’s my point.”
    He regarded me. “She’s in Boston,” he said, and I wanted to say that she was nowhere at all, really. She was in flight, finishing a report, but then it stung me: he didn’t really know where she was, he was guessing, hoping that I knew. She hadn’t told him.
    After a long while, he said, “We may not make it.”
    My throat constricted and I stopped chewing. I had tears, blinding, quick tears, and I looked away so he wouldn’t see.
    His hand was on mine. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s going to be fine, Stan. Don’t worry.”
    I nodded, even tried to look a little tough. Sure. No problem.
    I had irritated my mother beyond exasperation; I knew that. I suspected, too, that my father was weary at least in part because of me. A dental plan doesn’t humble a man like my father. Without me, he could have taken a leave from his job, maybe, or quit it and found another. He could have done romantic things with my mother, bought her flowers and taken her away for weekends in Carmel.
    But it wasn’t fair to blame me. It wasn’t fair. They couldn’t count on me to hold things together for them. It wasn’t right.
    â€œYou’re okay, Stan? Really?”
    I was okay. I was dead inside, but that seemed just about normal for this time and place. It was one of life’s IQ tests. If you felt wonderful you were stupid.
    It was obvious that Jared was right. I could hear Jared’s voice, sense his laughter. Don’t waste your time trying to help these botched people.
    Or, sure, you care about them. That’s natural. They’re your parents.
    But there is only one way to feel alive.

17
    A white shape broke from the tangle of geraniums, and half hopped to where Sky sat.
    She caressed the large white cat, a creature who leaned into her and purred. The cat had strong-looking hind legs, and a single large front paw. Where the other forepaw belonged was nothing. Not a stump, not a scar.
    â€œA dog bit him,” she said.
    This news silenced me. I stopped to caress the cat, too, and for a moment took pleasure in the fact that we were both touching the same living creature.
    It was two days after I had helped push the big Ford back to the driveway. The car was there now, chocks behind the wheels to keep it from rolling, Tu bent over the engine. I had not seen Jared since the terrible night. Mrs. Trent had said he had a virus.
    I had to talk to Jared. I had something to tell him.
    â€œA German shepherd,” said Sky. “The cat was bloody all over. I tied a tourniquet.”
    â€œYou saved his life.”
    She rubbed the cat one way and another. The cat spasmed, purring, hunching. “He’s a good cat.”
    â€œWhat’s his name?”
    â€œThis isn’t our cat. He is his own cat. No name.”
    â€œHe likes you.”
    â€œHe remembers me,” said Sky. She looked up at me. “I know you used to pass by me and not know what to say.”
    I wanted to say something smart but couldn’t think.
    â€œAnd then you had your big chance with that guy on the football field.”
    â€œYou needed some help.”
    â€œHe wasn’t so strong.” She thought, and added, “That was a kind thing to do,” then looked away. “I was a little surprised.”
    â€œWhy were you surprised?” I said, more sharply than I wanted.
    She tilted her head and did not answer, smiling at her own secret. “You try so hard, Stanley.”
    I bridled. “I do more than try.” I hated my snippy tone, but it was really more than I could stand.
    â€œI have offended Stanley,” said Sky to the cat. “Now he will never like me.”
    â€œOh, I’ll like you,” I said, and I hated the tone of my voice. I said it as though regretting it. I was doing everything wrong. Being close to her made me an idiot. I blundered further, aghast at my