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Authors: C. L. Anderson
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start your second, or third, without any…baggage. Of course, the lawyers’ll also have to develop forms so you can notify your previous family that you’ve decided to forget them so they don’t come looking for you. Except it won’t work,” he said. “I don’t care what they do. It’s all one life. Emotion gets piled on top of emotion, loyalty on top of loyalty, until we’re answering to so many masters we can’t do right by anybody.”
I shivered as the cold in my heart leached through to my skin. “What are you going to do?”
He shifted around until he faced me fully, sad but calm. “What are you going to do?”
There are moments when you know the truth, and it is absolute. “I will not risk war in the Solar System. Not while our children live here.”
He heard me. Finally. David had never seen even a small war, but he’d heard my stories. He’d seen what it had done to me.
Think about it. Think about what it’s done to me. Think about your son, your daughters, called upon to take this kind of damage. To inflict this kind of damage .
Because that was part of the Common Cause. If we did go to war, if it did happen, the draft would be universal. No one who had entered their third decade would be spared. No business, no asset was exempt from conscription or confiscation. The effort would be total until the war was over. It would take Dale, Allie, Jo, him, me. All of us.
Slowly, David reached for me. He took both my hands in his. His hands were so cold. I folded my fingers around his, trying instinctively to warm them, before I realized I had no warmth left to give.
“They broke you, Terese,” he whispered. “They took you and used you and broke you. How do I let you go back to that?”
I shook my head. The artificial breeze brought us the scent of earth, and allowed me to feel the dampness on my cheeks. “I don’t know, David.”
We sat there, awkward, all the weight of history between us, yet unable to let go of each other’s hands. I remembered everything—all the times he’d pulled me out of the cellar ofmy despair, all the times I’d fought with him, cried, and demanded so much of him. And here I was, making another demand while I did the thing I swore I’d never do.
My reason was sound. My duty was absolute. That did not change the fact that I had sworn I would not go back to the Guardians. David had limits. There was only so much he was willing to take. Unlike some people, he was not a bottomless pit for punishment.
That was the problem. He’d die for the kids, and for me, but he would not suffer for us. Not for long anyway, and not without a reason he could fully comprehend.
Was that too much? Was that unfair? I’m pretty sure it was, but the thought kept ringing round my head in the heavy silence. Suddenly I missed Dylan. He would have known what to say right now. He would have held my hand and kept me from feeling so alone with my husband.
But Dylan was gone, gone even longer and farther than Bianca.
“Stay with me, David,” I said abruptly. David was not part of the blood and the pain. David was the sunlight, the peace, and the freedom. I could have that for one last moment. Surely, that was not too much to ask.
He considered it, weighing whatever he was able to read in my eyes.
“I’ll stay for tonight,” he said.
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, you’re returning to your old life, and even if there was room for me in there, there wouldn’t be time. I’ll go home.”
It was honesty. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was all I had the right to ask for. I don’t know which of us leanedtoward the other first, but we wrapped our arms around each other and held on like that for a long, long time.
When I finally let go I said, “There’s a couple of things I have to take care of first. I’ll meet you at the Palmer House when I’m done, okay?”
He nodded. “The kids are angry. Not just Jo, either. She called Dale and Allie too. They are truly
I shivered as the cold in my heart leached through to my skin. “What are you going to do?”
He shifted around until he faced me fully, sad but calm. “What are you going to do?”
There are moments when you know the truth, and it is absolute. “I will not risk war in the Solar System. Not while our children live here.”
He heard me. Finally. David had never seen even a small war, but he’d heard my stories. He’d seen what it had done to me.
Think about it. Think about what it’s done to me. Think about your son, your daughters, called upon to take this kind of damage. To inflict this kind of damage .
Because that was part of the Common Cause. If we did go to war, if it did happen, the draft would be universal. No one who had entered their third decade would be spared. No business, no asset was exempt from conscription or confiscation. The effort would be total until the war was over. It would take Dale, Allie, Jo, him, me. All of us.
Slowly, David reached for me. He took both my hands in his. His hands were so cold. I folded my fingers around his, trying instinctively to warm them, before I realized I had no warmth left to give.
“They broke you, Terese,” he whispered. “They took you and used you and broke you. How do I let you go back to that?”
I shook my head. The artificial breeze brought us the scent of earth, and allowed me to feel the dampness on my cheeks. “I don’t know, David.”
We sat there, awkward, all the weight of history between us, yet unable to let go of each other’s hands. I remembered everything—all the times he’d pulled me out of the cellar ofmy despair, all the times I’d fought with him, cried, and demanded so much of him. And here I was, making another demand while I did the thing I swore I’d never do.
My reason was sound. My duty was absolute. That did not change the fact that I had sworn I would not go back to the Guardians. David had limits. There was only so much he was willing to take. Unlike some people, he was not a bottomless pit for punishment.
That was the problem. He’d die for the kids, and for me, but he would not suffer for us. Not for long anyway, and not without a reason he could fully comprehend.
Was that too much? Was that unfair? I’m pretty sure it was, but the thought kept ringing round my head in the heavy silence. Suddenly I missed Dylan. He would have known what to say right now. He would have held my hand and kept me from feeling so alone with my husband.
But Dylan was gone, gone even longer and farther than Bianca.
“Stay with me, David,” I said abruptly. David was not part of the blood and the pain. David was the sunlight, the peace, and the freedom. I could have that for one last moment. Surely, that was not too much to ask.
He considered it, weighing whatever he was able to read in my eyes.
“I’ll stay for tonight,” he said.
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, you’re returning to your old life, and even if there was room for me in there, there wouldn’t be time. I’ll go home.”
It was honesty. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was all I had the right to ask for. I don’t know which of us leanedtoward the other first, but we wrapped our arms around each other and held on like that for a long, long time.
When I finally let go I said, “There’s a couple of things I have to take care of first. I’ll meet you at the Palmer House when I’m done, okay?”
He nodded. “The kids are angry. Not just Jo, either. She called Dale and Allie too. They are truly
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