Read Online Baby Love Lite by Andrea Smith - Free Book Online Page A

concern at my impassiveness towards
the baby. He'd never seen that before. I was suddenly afraid to be
close to her; I was too attached. What if she wasn’t here for the
long haul? I pulled her from me, handing her back to Trey.
    “ There are bottles in the
fridge,” I said my voice shaking. “Will you please feed
her?”
    He took the baby from me and immediately she
started kicking and fussing in protest. I heard him murmuring
softly to her as he took her down the hall towards the kitchen
where he would heat up a bottle of my breast-pumped milk and feed
her before she went down for the night.
    I quickly changed into a nightgown and
crawled into the safe comfort of our bed not wanting to think about
anything but falling into a deep, dark sleep. My wishes were
granted. I didn’t want anything to do with my baby, for now. It
just wasn’t safe.

CHAPTER 6
    I'd been sleeping for a while when I heard
Preston fussing again from her bedroom. I felt Trey get up and
leave our bed, returning in a couple of minutes with Preston in his
arms. I pretended to sleep, never opening my eyes. I felt Trey
lower himself down onto the bed, and fumble with my nightgown
trying to lower the neckline in order to place Preston next to me
so that she could nurse. I rolled my body away from them into a
tight ball, leaving him and my hungry baby staring at my back. I
heard Trey curse softly under his breath as he left our bed. He
returned a few moments later with Preston and a bottle. I could
hear him coaxing her to take the bottle as she fussed wanting my
breast instead.
    Tears stained my cheeks as I did nothing to
remedy the situation. Trey was finally able to persuade her to take
the nipple of the bottle into her mouth. I heard her finally start
sucking away on it hungrily. What kind of a piece of shit mother
was I?
    I fell back into a restless and troubled
sleep. My dreams haunted me; the one I had this night was the worst
ever. I dreamed that I was wandering around a cemetery by myself; I
was tired, hungry and totally disheveled. I'd no clue as to where I
was or how I'd gotten there. I tripped over a branch that had
fallen from a large oak tree in the cemetery; rain was pounding
down around me in torrents. I tried in vain to get my bearings in
this dark, wet cemetery. On the ground crawling in inches after my
fall, my hands frantically searched to find something stable. I
finally grasped something that felt human, or at least previously
human. I scooted up towards what I'd been touching with my hands.
It was cold and unyielding. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark
and I could make out the features. I shrieked in fear and in
disgust.
    It was Jean!
    Her features were distorted by decay. Her
skin was dark brown and textured like leather. I found the strength
to raise myself up and onto my feet. I wanted to run as fast and as
far away as possible from what I'd just discovered. I felt the bile
rise up in my throat. I stumbled over a flat gravestone and
sprawled once again onto the ground of the cemetery; the rain was
pelting against my skin from all directions.
    I blinked my eyes trying to get some focus
against the raindrops which were mercilessly assaulting my face. I
was now belly-crawling through this unnamed cemetery looking for
any exit out of the nightmare. My hand brushed against another flat
headstone that felt smooth to the touch. The raised mound of dirt
on this side of it reflected a fresh grave. It was a tiny grave.
There was an outline of an angel engraved into the headstone. I
stared into the face of the angel then lowered my gaze to see what
was encrypted in the marble:
    Preston Michaela Sinclair
    Beloved Daughter of Tylar & Trey
    Rest In Peace Our Little Angel
    I felt the scream rise up in my throat. The
next thing I heard was it echoing across the cemetery. It was a
plaintive wail. The sound of it made my own skin crawl. My baby was
gone . . . my precious angel was gone forever. I'd failed to
protect her. My screams went on and on.