Read Online Ava XOX by Carol Weston - Free Book Online Page B

eat. Or how they should or shouldn’t look.” Rorie nodded. “No one gets to tell us how to live our lives.”
    â€œIt’s a free country,” Jayda added. “If I want to eat a pack of Oreos, it’s none of your business! No one asked you!”
    I wanted to shout, “That’s not true!” because Tanya had asked me. But I also wanted to leave Tanya out of this. She had enough to worry about. I wished I could defend myself the way I’d defended Pip last year when Lacey made fun of her. But I couldn’t. I was crumpling before their very eyes. If we were outside, would they be beating me up?
    â€œYou know how some girls eat two peas and a lettuce leaf and call it lunch?” Jayda said. “ That’s what’s really bad! That and the girls who throw up on purpose.” She studied my face. “And just so you know, I’m fine with how I look.” She put one hand behind her head in a sassy way. “In fact, I’m so fine , I could be a plus-size model!” Mackie high-fived her.
    Rorie said, “Oh, and if you’re looking for that nasty poster you made with your buddy Bea, it’s in the trash, okay? We don’t need twigs like you going around telling everyone they should be a size zero. You got that?”
    I might have nodded. Or my face might have gone up and down. But really, I don’t think “I” had anything to do with it. It was like I was watching this scene, not living it.
    Rorie gave Lacey a look, and Lacey added, “And for your information, some people gain weight more easily than others. So watch how you throw around the word ‘fat,’ okay?”
    The girls were all staring at me, and I wished I’d never titled my poster “FIT OR FAT.” To be honest, I mostly just liked how the words “fat” and “fit” looked together.
    Stupid, stupid me!
    â€œAnd some boys like girls with curves,” Jayda said.
    That cracked everyone up, but to me, it seemed really random, because what did boys have to do with any of this?
    Mackie spoke up for the first time. She’s the one who knows my mom because her dog ate the duck. “Ava,” she said, “you’ve probably heard about sexism and racism. Well, there’s such a thing as sizism too. So you need to think about that.”
    Sizism? Is that even a word? How could I be a sizist? I am not a sizist! I made that list because Tanya asked me to and because Ms. Sickles had said obesity is dangerous .
    Rorie jumped in again. “Here’s the thing: you may think it’s bad to be fat, but we think it’s worse to be a shallow little zero !”
    Mackie looked at me and added more softly. “Ava, the point is that it’s not good to judge people’s insides by their out sides.”
    I wanted to say, “I wasn’t! I don’t!” but my nose was tingling, and I knew that if I said anything , I’d burst into tears.
    â€œPeople come in all sizes,” Mackie continued. “Some are big and some are small, and so what? It’s not what you look like—it’s who you are that counts.”
    She glanced at Rorie as if to say, “Enough already.”
    Rorie shrugged, then turned to me and said, “Okay, we’re done. But we don’t need you judging us. So why don’t you get out of here and let us have our lunch in peace?”
    â€œAnd while you’re at it, grow up!” Lacey threw in.
    I wanted to say that I was trying to grow up, but instead I ran out of the lunchroom even though I hadn’t eaten a single bite. I didn’t see Maybelle or Pip or Chuck, but I did see Kelli. She was staring at me. And I bet she knew exactly what had just happened.
    AVA, ZERO

2/19
AN HOUR LATER
    DEAR DIARY,
    I phoned Maybelle, but she was on her way to Kelli’s for a sleepover with Zara. That made me feel even worse!
    I told Dad what a horrible mess I was in and how in my head,