Read Online Anthem for Jackson Dawes by Celia Bryce - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Celia Bryce
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talk to, no Twins to make silly jokes about everything as if they understood what it was like to be in hospital, to have cancer.
Megan gave Jackson a watery smile.
He really was all she had. Sheâd have to be nice to him, stop treating him like he was in the way all the time. Jackson leaned in as if he knew all of this. Megan could feel his breath on her face, clean, toothpaste breath.
âLetâs just stay here,â he whispered, as if that would solve everything.
But how could it?
âWhere else can we go?â Megan said, surprising herself with the bitterness she felt all of a sudden. âThereâs just this stupid ward, this stupid place.â The words came out in short bursts, as if Jackson was to blame for everything when clearly he wasnât.
Yet she couldnât help it.
The anger wouldnât go away.
Just staying here
meant she couldnât get away, but would be sucked into the hospital, into Jacksonâs world and end up like him, always in trouble, or like Kipper, upset about her cat.
She didnât want to be in trouble, didnât want to be upset. She wanted to be normal and away from here and not have cancer any more. It was rubbish. Everything. And Jackson
couldnât
help. No one could and there was no point in
just staying here
.
It was then that Jackson bent his face to hers and kissed her with the softest peck of his lips. Megan moved away. âDonât.â
Jackson stood very still, as if paused by the press of a button. The air between them almost crackled. Megan couldnât tell if he was hurt, amused or angry. She could easily un-pause him, easily feel him close to her again through the thin material of her dressing gown, breathe in every breath he took. She could easily kiss him back.
But no.
It wasnât right. Nothing was.
The space between them grew bigger and deeper than a canyon. The air cooled.
âItâs OK. I get it,â Jackson said.
âNo! You donât get it! Itâs just â¦â The words wouldnât come. Megan felt even more hollow inside.
But didnât you have to feel at least a little bit happy to want to kiss someone?
Megan tried to make her way to the door, only now, in the dark, the furniture seemed bigger than before, her drip stand seemed to have grown more feet, more wheels. It kept colliding into things.
âDonât go,â Jackson said. âStay a bit longer. Iâm sorry. Promise I wonât try anything else.â
There was that grin in his voice once more, which said nothing had upset him. Nothing and no one, not even she, could ever really hurt him.
It made Megan smile, just a little bit, as if it was all a bad dream, all the upset she felt, and now she was awake.
Jackson began to fold himself down on to the low chairs lining the back wall.
â
What are you doing?
â Megan said.
âSometimes I just lay me down to sleep.â He sounded like his mother or someone older even.
âOn
those
?â
âYeah. Try it.â
Megan slumped down on the row of seats opposite. They werenât uncomfortable, not really. She drew up her feet, wrapping her dressing gown around them like a blanket. She could fall asleep quite easily. Had Jackson ever done that? For the whole night? Had anyone ever caught him? She gazed at him as he stretched out like a cat in its basket.
âJackson?â she whispered.
âSssssh! Iâm planning.â
Megan frowned. âPlanning what?â There was a chuckle in answer, nothing more. Oh no. Surely he wasnât aiming to go off the ward tonight? âAre you going to escape again?â
No answer.
âYouâre going to drive them crazy, you know.â
Another chuckle, then silence. Obviously, Jackson didnât care about upsetting nurses or doctors, he didnât bother about rules and regulations, except to break them, to get away just for a little while.
If only she could do the same.
Megan wanted a
Megan gave Jackson a watery smile.
He really was all she had. Sheâd have to be nice to him, stop treating him like he was in the way all the time. Jackson leaned in as if he knew all of this. Megan could feel his breath on her face, clean, toothpaste breath.
âLetâs just stay here,â he whispered, as if that would solve everything.
But how could it?
âWhere else can we go?â Megan said, surprising herself with the bitterness she felt all of a sudden. âThereâs just this stupid ward, this stupid place.â The words came out in short bursts, as if Jackson was to blame for everything when clearly he wasnât.
Yet she couldnât help it.
The anger wouldnât go away.
Just staying here
meant she couldnât get away, but would be sucked into the hospital, into Jacksonâs world and end up like him, always in trouble, or like Kipper, upset about her cat.
She didnât want to be in trouble, didnât want to be upset. She wanted to be normal and away from here and not have cancer any more. It was rubbish. Everything. And Jackson
couldnât
help. No one could and there was no point in
just staying here
.
It was then that Jackson bent his face to hers and kissed her with the softest peck of his lips. Megan moved away. âDonât.â
Jackson stood very still, as if paused by the press of a button. The air between them almost crackled. Megan couldnât tell if he was hurt, amused or angry. She could easily un-pause him, easily feel him close to her again through the thin material of her dressing gown, breathe in every breath he took. She could easily kiss him back.
But no.
It wasnât right. Nothing was.
The space between them grew bigger and deeper than a canyon. The air cooled.
âItâs OK. I get it,â Jackson said.
âNo! You donât get it! Itâs just â¦â The words wouldnât come. Megan felt even more hollow inside.
But didnât you have to feel at least a little bit happy to want to kiss someone?
Megan tried to make her way to the door, only now, in the dark, the furniture seemed bigger than before, her drip stand seemed to have grown more feet, more wheels. It kept colliding into things.
âDonât go,â Jackson said. âStay a bit longer. Iâm sorry. Promise I wonât try anything else.â
There was that grin in his voice once more, which said nothing had upset him. Nothing and no one, not even she, could ever really hurt him.
It made Megan smile, just a little bit, as if it was all a bad dream, all the upset she felt, and now she was awake.
Jackson began to fold himself down on to the low chairs lining the back wall.
â
What are you doing?
â Megan said.
âSometimes I just lay me down to sleep.â He sounded like his mother or someone older even.
âOn
those
?â
âYeah. Try it.â
Megan slumped down on the row of seats opposite. They werenât uncomfortable, not really. She drew up her feet, wrapping her dressing gown around them like a blanket. She could fall asleep quite easily. Had Jackson ever done that? For the whole night? Had anyone ever caught him? She gazed at him as he stretched out like a cat in its basket.
âJackson?â she whispered.
âSssssh! Iâm planning.â
Megan frowned. âPlanning what?â There was a chuckle in answer, nothing more. Oh no. Surely he wasnât aiming to go off the ward tonight? âAre you going to escape again?â
No answer.
âYouâre going to drive them crazy, you know.â
Another chuckle, then silence. Obviously, Jackson didnât care about upsetting nurses or doctors, he didnât bother about rules and regulations, except to break them, to get away just for a little while.
If only she could do the same.
Megan wanted a
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