Read Online Alone by Erin R Flynn - Free Book Online Page A

together?”
    “No.”
    “Nina, you need something for the conferences,” he hedged.
    “I’m not going to them.”
    “But I already registered you,” he sighed, shaking his head.
    I moved my leg around him and slid off the counter so fast I almost fell on my face. I caught myself in time and haphazardly tied my shirt back up so I was covered. “Thank you for coming tonight, Conall,” I whispered, blinking when tears burned my eyes. “I had a wonderful time, but it’s getting late and—”
    “Wait, what is going on?”
    “I’m ending the date,” I muttered as I grabbed the containers from dinner, hurrying past him when he reached for me, shutting down right before his eyes.
    “No, I meant just now? What happened? We went from having fun to your mood changing. What did I just miss?” he demanded, setting the toy down on the counter and grabbing my arm when I went back to clean up more. I shrank back from him and his eyes went wide, instantly letting me go. “Nina, what is going on ? Why are you afraid of me again?”
    “I am saying it’s time to leave my home. Are you saying you won’t go?” I took another step back, and he went pale.
    Conall glanced around and darted out onto the porch. “I am out of your home. Lovely, my woman as you said you now are, please tell me what I did. I do not understand. I am begging you to explain to me why I just scared you. I thought we were playing.”
    I took a few steps, closed, and locked the sliding glass door. “Can you still hear me?” I waited until he nodded before continuing. It was stupid, I knew that. He could break the damn thing open in about twenty seconds. And I was overreacting—I knew that too. But we’d been through a pretty fucking volatile situation and I’d warned him I wasn’t good at handling feelings or people like a normal person. If I was pushed or felt cornered, I shut down.
    It was the only way I knew how to be.
    “You did it again,” I answered him finally. “You shut me down when I said I wasn’t going to the conferences like I was being a bratty child. You did that thing you do where you sigh and shake your head like I’m a disappointment and I really don’t get a vote so I need to just accept what’s going to happen. I said no , Conall. It’s not like I barely went to those things because I couldn’t afford them. I can’t handle lots of strangers and crowds. It freaks me out.
    “Did you ever ask yourself why I live out in the middle of nowhere Nebraska surrounded by nothing? I don’t do well with large groups. I get in fights with people because they say stupid shit and I have a really bad temper. I’ve gone to four of those things and two of them I’ve almost punched people out, gotten in shoving matches sticking up for people. Authors have mouths, don’t hold their liquor, like to talk shit, and suddenly they’re somewhere where someone might call them out on it.
    “Yeah, great for my career when I break their face. Or I freak out again because a fan squeals and tries hugging me and I almost land in a pool. That was awesome. Everyone laughed about that the whole conference, and then that I blushed the whole time over it. Or ugly ass pictures are all over Facebook of me, bright red cheeks that I look drunk in because I can’t help blushing because crowds and strangers make me nervous.”
    He started talking but unlike him, I didn’t have super-awesome hearing. I unlocked and opened the door back up, rolling my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”
    “Of course not. How could you? You don’t ask me,” I drawled, going to close the door again.
    He stuck his hand in the way, and I glanced at his eyes, seeing the regret there. “Please, Nina, I’m sorry . I was listening. I thought it was a scheduling thing. I was going to ask if there was something we could shift around. I see now I have to go further in not reverting back. I’ve been better, but it’s not a switch I can simply flip. Please don’t