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Authors: Therese M. Travis
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to where I sat. He stopped for a minute to jibe at Dan, describing something from basketball practice, and made Wallis laugh.
Shannon plopped on the couch across the room. I could see she’d been crying. Funny how, even after three years of not even talking to her, I still knew her so well. I saw the way her thumb tucked through her belt loop, and knew it meant she’d relaxed. She knew how to have a good time, even if she’d started out a mess.
Jackson, picking his way between legs stretched across the carpet, stopped to say something to her and Shannon grinned but didn’t move. That surprised me.
“Aidyn, this is Stephanie.” Miguel had to yell next to my ear so I could hear him. He pointed to the girl on my other side. She waved, and I waved back, and we settled into the privacy of too much noise.
The music pounded across the floor, up through my bones and out my fingertips. I couldn’t hear voices, just saw faces mouthing, laughing, frowning, flirting. The room kaleidoscoped in my head, breaking something open, hurting. I decided I hated parties. I’d given it a try and now I could say I didn’t party, if anybody ever asked me again.
I snorted. Who would ask me?
The music went dead and surprised voices called out.
“Circle time.” Lucy carried a sheaf of papers to the middle of the room, nudged aside a few feet, and threatened to use somebody as a chair before we’d shifted enough to make room for her. Someone scooted me toward Miguel. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them.
“Hey, you know the rules,” Miguel shouted. “You come to a party at Lucy’s you gotta pay. I mean, pray.”
Lucy made a face at him before she laughed with everyone else. People shoved closer, and I couldn’t back up because of Miguel’s shoulder behind me.
“We’re supposed to pray,” Lucy said, and began as simply as she had on Sunday, with the same request for centering. I wished I knew what that meant. I wished I had the guts to ask, but that’d show my stupidity. She’d know how very much I didn’t belong if I let on how much I didn’t know.
“God, You have blessed us so much, even in our need You have given Yourself to us.” I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my hands. Blessed? I really didn’t belong here.
Lucy stopped. I waited for her “amen” but she left us in our silence. I studied the other kids, their faces solemn or blank, each of us alone with our own thoughts. I had no idea what I was supposed to be thinking or praying.
I almost choked when beside me Stephanie said, “God, thanks for the help on that cruddy test. I had to pass it, and You didn’t let me down.”
We had to pray out loud? That was worse than writing prayers on paper. I tried to roll to my knees, to bolt, but had no room. I swallowed my panic and tried to melt into the silence that followed her prayer. I would not pray out loud.
Wallis spoke up. “Those people who lost their homes in the flood, God, we pray You bless them. Provide what they need.”
I am so stupid, I don’t even know what flood he’s talking about.
Another voice. “My dad might lose his job. His company’s downsizing.”
“My brother got caught shoplifting. He’s fourteen.”
“It seems like half the people at school are doing drugs lately. Please make them stop using. Please.”
The prayers came from islands of faces in the darkness. I couldn’t always tell who spoke, and hoped no one would notice that I hadn’t.
Lucy’s voice. “My little brother’s thinking of moving in with his girlfriend. Pray for guidance.”
Another silence. “Praise report. I got accepted at the art school I wanted, with a scholarship.” At that, more voices chimed in, thanking God.
“My dad’s drinking again,” Miguel said.
I turned to watch him, but he had his head down, hiding his eyes. “Mom said if he hits me again, even if he doesn’t break anything this time, she’ll call the cops.”
“Good, we’ll pray for your mom to be
Shannon plopped on the couch across the room. I could see she’d been crying. Funny how, even after three years of not even talking to her, I still knew her so well. I saw the way her thumb tucked through her belt loop, and knew it meant she’d relaxed. She knew how to have a good time, even if she’d started out a mess.
Jackson, picking his way between legs stretched across the carpet, stopped to say something to her and Shannon grinned but didn’t move. That surprised me.
“Aidyn, this is Stephanie.” Miguel had to yell next to my ear so I could hear him. He pointed to the girl on my other side. She waved, and I waved back, and we settled into the privacy of too much noise.
The music pounded across the floor, up through my bones and out my fingertips. I couldn’t hear voices, just saw faces mouthing, laughing, frowning, flirting. The room kaleidoscoped in my head, breaking something open, hurting. I decided I hated parties. I’d given it a try and now I could say I didn’t party, if anybody ever asked me again.
I snorted. Who would ask me?
The music went dead and surprised voices called out.
“Circle time.” Lucy carried a sheaf of papers to the middle of the room, nudged aside a few feet, and threatened to use somebody as a chair before we’d shifted enough to make room for her. Someone scooted me toward Miguel. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them.
“Hey, you know the rules,” Miguel shouted. “You come to a party at Lucy’s you gotta pay. I mean, pray.”
Lucy made a face at him before she laughed with everyone else. People shoved closer, and I couldn’t back up because of Miguel’s shoulder behind me.
“We’re supposed to pray,” Lucy said, and began as simply as she had on Sunday, with the same request for centering. I wished I knew what that meant. I wished I had the guts to ask, but that’d show my stupidity. She’d know how very much I didn’t belong if I let on how much I didn’t know.
“God, You have blessed us so much, even in our need You have given Yourself to us.” I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my hands. Blessed? I really didn’t belong here.
Lucy stopped. I waited for her “amen” but she left us in our silence. I studied the other kids, their faces solemn or blank, each of us alone with our own thoughts. I had no idea what I was supposed to be thinking or praying.
I almost choked when beside me Stephanie said, “God, thanks for the help on that cruddy test. I had to pass it, and You didn’t let me down.”
We had to pray out loud? That was worse than writing prayers on paper. I tried to roll to my knees, to bolt, but had no room. I swallowed my panic and tried to melt into the silence that followed her prayer. I would not pray out loud.
Wallis spoke up. “Those people who lost their homes in the flood, God, we pray You bless them. Provide what they need.”
I am so stupid, I don’t even know what flood he’s talking about.
Another voice. “My dad might lose his job. His company’s downsizing.”
“My brother got caught shoplifting. He’s fourteen.”
“It seems like half the people at school are doing drugs lately. Please make them stop using. Please.”
The prayers came from islands of faces in the darkness. I couldn’t always tell who spoke, and hoped no one would notice that I hadn’t.
Lucy’s voice. “My little brother’s thinking of moving in with his girlfriend. Pray for guidance.”
Another silence. “Praise report. I got accepted at the art school I wanted, with a scholarship.” At that, more voices chimed in, thanking God.
“My dad’s drinking again,” Miguel said.
I turned to watch him, but he had his head down, hiding his eyes. “Mom said if he hits me again, even if he doesn’t break anything this time, she’ll call the cops.”
“Good, we’ll pray for your mom to be
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